5/07/2006

Advice from Nashville's leading Financial Aid Advisor Dave Ramsey

 
Dave Says
By Dave Ramsey
Author of:
Financial Peace and
The Total Money Makeover

"How to help son who is getting divorced?"

Dear Dave,

My son is 27-years old and he’s been married for seven years to a girl from a wealthy family. Her parents have virtually supported them the whole time. Now, they’re getting a divorce and they have two kids. He’s come to us for the money to make this happen, and when we ask why he doesn’t have the money he tells us it’s none of our business. We want to help, but we’re not sure what to do.

Dee

Dear Dee,

How about just saying no? And then if he asks why, tell him it’s none of HIS business. 

This is a grown man we’re talking about, and if he’s going to take on the lifestyle and actions of a grown-up he needs to act like one and take care of his responsibilities on his own. I understand he’s hurting right now, but there’s a lot of arrogance on his part going on here. It takes a ton of nerve to demand money from someone and tell them the reason they don’t have the money themselves is none of their business. 

If you really want to help, Dee, offer to clothe and feed the children or let them all the stay at your home for a short period of time while he works through this and gets his act together. Now, if he seriously wants to get into some financial counseling and start becoming accountable for his money – to himself AND to you – then you might look at helping him money-wise. 

But at this point if you just hand him money because he wants it, then you’re giving a drunk a drink. Anyone can make a mistake, Dee. But it’s not your job to fund his stupidity or his arrogance.

- Dave

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