11/28/2005

Advice from Nashville's leading Financial Aid Advisor Dave Ramsey

 
Dave Says
By Dave Ramsey
Author of:
Financial Peace and
The Total Money Makeover

"Helping irresponsible parents"

Dear Dave,



My parents are irresponsible with money, and I’m having a hard time trying to help them. Do you have any advice on a way I could coax them into doing a better job of managing their money? They’re both in their 50s, and I’m worried about their finances once they reach old age.

Cory

Dear Cory,



You’re in a tough situation here. Anytime we try to advise our parents on anything we run into the “Powdered Butt Syndrome.” Once someone has powdered your butt, they really don’t want your advice on anything. It doesn’t matter if you’re 86 and they’re 106, they still don’t want your advice.

Some parents grow to the point where they not only respect, but revere their children’s abilities in a certain area. But honestly, most adults don’t want correction that’s unsolicited. Even with what I do for a living, I don’t grab people by the hair and force advice down their throats. I walk by people every day, whether it’s on a car lot, in the mall, wherever, who are doing stupid things. And I keep right on walking. Now, if they ASK for my opinion, then it’s a different story. I’m obligated to tell them what I think at that point.

But if it’s someone I’m close to, say a family member or good friend, I try to put myself into a position where they might ask. You could try telling your parents YOUR story. Tell them about your past troubles, what you did to fix things and how much easier it is when you have a plan and are living debt-free. It’s like, if you admit mistakes you’ve made, then it becomes okay for them to talk about things they ordinarily wouldn’t.

- Dave

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